Introduction

Intimate partner violence (IPV) affects millions of people annually on a global scale. Globally, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that about 1 in 3 (30%) women worldwide experience either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

Bringing the focus down to the national level, data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reveals that approximately 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men experience intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking during their lifetime in the United States. While both men and women fall victim to IPV, women face a significantly higher risk of severe injury and fatal violence. Crucially, subtle red flags often emerge long before physical abuse begins.

Breaking the Silence Through Awareness

Intimate partner violence encompasses physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, and religious abuse. It transcends all religious, cultural, and socioeconomic boundaries. It is not unique to Islam, nor should it be framed as a Muslim-specific issue. However, throughout my clinical practice providing therapy to diverse populations, I have observed a deeply concerning rise in IPV cases within the Muslim community.

When someone discloses abuse, our first responsibility is to listen carefully and understand the full picture of what is happening. Only then can we move toward arbitration — because once a matter enters the legal system, it becomes complicated and largely passes out of our hands.

It’s also important to recognize that abuse from a husband toward his wife and abuse from a wife toward her husband often look very different. Identifying each accurately, and naming it for what it is, is an essential part of responding well.

This is precisely why Islam teaches us not to violate sacred institutions like marriage, nor to distort values such as sacrifice and patience.

We must examine every case from all angles. In matters like these, we need to consider the aḥkām (rulings), the akhlāqī (ethical) dimensions, and, of course, the emotional and psychological realities, along with the mutual rights each spouse holds over the other.

At the foundation, we must first understand what the bond between spouses is meant to look like — the depth of love and commitment they should share. Once that bond is genuinely present, both the aḥkām and the akhlāqiyyāt are seen through an entirely different lens and carry different weight.

How Religion Can Be Misused

Abusers often misinterpret or exploit religious concepts, such as notions of marital obedience, a husband’s rights, or specific ḥadīths and Qurʾānic verses, to justify controlling a partner. This tactic relies on selective distortion and stands in direct contrast to the broader range of Islamic legal and ethical scholarship.

  • Underreporting is common

Underreporting remains widespread. Survivors often fear negative community reactions, particularly when an abusive partner holds a prominent or well-respected position. Additional barriers include fear of social stigma, divorce, family rejection, deportation or immigration complications, and financial instability. Many survivors also worry they will not be believed, heard, or supported by community members and religious leaders.

  • Community responses matter

Community leadership and institutions play a decisive role in survivor safety. Mosques, Islamic centers, community leaders, and faith-based social service organizations must maintain accessible resources and clear protocols to help survivors safely find assistance and shelter when needed.

Impacts of IPV

Intimate partner violence severely diminishes a survivor’s sense of self-worth and breeds profound hopelessness. In my clinical work, survivors frequently report struggling with low self-esteem, deep depression, systemic alienation, and a lack of support from family and community. Many experience a painful crisis of faith, feeling abandoned by societal systems and, at times, questioning their relationship with Allah (swt).

Spiritual Manipulation and Isolation

Abusers often exploit religious texts and spiritual duties to manipulate victims into believing that enduring abuse is a religious obligation. Though ideally having the ideology of basing a relationship on Mawaddah and Raḥmah, the abusers seldom integrate Islamic teachings in their personal relationships. Survivors are frequently conditioned to feel that seeking a divorce or speaking out, often dismissed as “washing dirty laundry in public”, violates Islamic teachings. Fearing harsh judgment and social stigma, many survivors isolate themselves completely, closing off avenues for help and significantly delaying life-saving intervention.

Compounding Vulnerabilities

For non-citizen or immigrant survivors, immigration status creates an additional layer of severe vulnerability. Fear of deportation, legal instability, and language barriers often leave them feeling utterly powerless and financially dependent on their abuser.

Help-Seeking and Support Dynamics for the Victims of IPV

As you take steps forward, keep the following in mind:

  • It is essential to seek proper counsel from professionals who honor your perspective. As a Muslim, seek counsel and support that directly aligns with your faith. This means choosing a therapist, counselor, or advisor who truly understands and respects your spiritual and religious beliefs, values, and lived experiences.
  • Consider seeking counsel from religious scholars, counselors, and people of wisdom before turning to legal avenues, since the law tends to operate in black and white and does not account for religion or akhlāq.
  • Effective support requires providers to enter into a matter with a curious mind, such that they can distinguish between core religious tenents and patriarchal and cultural norms. The goal remains to utilize faith as a source of resilience, rather than a barrier to safety.

Spiritual Comfort

Seeking comfort in duʿāʾ, dhikr, ṣalāh, and recitation of the Noble Qurʾān provides a sanctuary for a heart experiencing pain or turmoil.

Duʿāʾ (Supplication): Duʿāʾ is an intimate, direct line of communication with Allah (swt), allowing a survivor to pour out their grief, pain, and vulnerability without fear of judgment. It transforms feelings of powerlessness into active spiritual agency, reassuring the heart that no suffering goes unnoticed by the All-Merciful. Imām Jaʿfar aṣ-Ṣādiq (ʿa) highlighted this central role of supplication, stating: “Duʿāʾ is the weapon of the believer, the pillar of religion, and the light of the heavens and the earth”.

Dhikr (Remembrance): Dhikr acts as a continuous anchor for a mind overwhelmed by trauma, grounding the soul in the absolute power and peace of Allah (swt). Gently repeating phrases of praise and remembrance softens internal distress, replacing anxiety with quiet tranquility. Imām ʿAlī (ʿa) emphasized this healing effect in Nahj al-Balāghah, noting: “Indeed, Allah, the Glorified, has made dhikr a polish for the hearts, by which they hear after being deaf, see after being blind, and become tractable after being stubborn”.

Ṣalāh (Prayer): Ṣalāh creates a structured physical and mental safe space, inviting the believer to temporarily step away from daily stressors and rest in the presence of their Creator. The physical postures, especially sujūd (prostration), allow one to surrender heavy burdens and find physical and emotional release. As the Noble Prophet (ṣ) shared regarding the deep comfort found in prayer: “The light of my eyes was placed in prayer, and my delight was made in prayer”.

The Noble Qurʾān: The believer is advised to hold fast to the Noble Qurʾān. Reciting its verses and pondering its divine message brings peace to a troubled heart. Below are some Qurʾānic verses to help foster tranquility and reliance on Allah (swt):

  1. Behold! The hearts find rest in Allah’s remembrance!
  2. Indeed, ease accompanies hardship.
  3. Allah does not task any soul beyond its capacity.
  4. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He will suffice him.

If You Need Help Now

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Staying safe online: If someone may be checking your phone, computer, or browsing history, use a device they can’t reach (a friend’s phone or a library computer, for example) or a private browsing window. Many support websites have a “quick exit” button, but your browsing history may still show that you visited them.

Canada

  • Assaulted Women’s Helpline (Ontario): 24/7, 1-866-863-0511 · awhl.org
  • Nisa Homes: transitional housing for Muslim women and children · nisahomes.com
  • Sakeenah Canada: transitional homes and casework support · sakeenahcanada.com
  • Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic (Toronto): legal help and counseling · schliferclinic.com

United States

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 24/7, 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788 · thehotline.org

Each service has its own policies on privacy and procedures for what happens after you reach out. Ask about them when you contact the service.

Resources:

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women

Al-Kāfī, Vol. 2, P. 468.

Nahj al-Balāghah, Sermon 222.

Biḥār al-Anwār, Vol. 73, P. 141; Makārim al-Akhlāq, P. 461.

Noble Qurʾān, Sūrah ar-Raʿd (13), Verse 28.

Noble Qurʾān, Sūrah ash-Sharḥ (94), Verses 5-6.

Noble Qurʾān, Sūrah al-Baqarah (2), Verse 286.

Noble Qurʾān, Sūrah aṭ-Ṭalāq (65), Verse 3.